Parenting in the Digital Age Infographic

Technology Myth

One of the Myths that is perpetuated online is that one policy of time limits fits for all kids and that's simply just not true. Technology- use is never going to be a one- size- fits all strategy when we talk about screen time, apps, games and devices. What works for some kids will not work for others. Just like with parenting, it takes some trial and error to find the right fit for your child. Personally my son needs a hard limit set (prior to use) for time and for certain shows/apps/games or he becomes hyperactive and has a meltdown when the time is over. I've also noticed certain things make him more aggressive so we don't allow him to watch/ play those games and shows. Find what works for your family and your child. 

STEAM Apps for Learning

Mindfulness Apps

Summer Break

School is almost out for Summer Break (whether or not we are ready to have the kids home). It's easy to start the summer off saying we are going to have screen time limits and then 2 weeks pass and boredom and frustration set it and the next thing you know the kids are watching Netflix marathons and haven't gotten out of the pajamas in days. To avoid this scenario, approach the summer with a set plan for media use. A good start is creating a Family Media Plan and then adjusting for the summer months. A summer chart check list can also be helpful in setting up your child for a healthy and balanced summer break. 

What's a Family Media Plan you might ask? A Family Media Plan is a set of guidelines customized to your family values that establishes how, when and where technology is used. It can include screen-free times, screen-free zones, device curfew, safety and digital citizenship. The simple act of having a discussion about media use in your household will hep your family identify the purpose of using technology (work, school work, social interactions, communication, games, etc) and create a balance between your online and off-line lives. Over the summer months kids can easily play video games, binge Netflix's or text into the night hours, then sleep half the day away and get nothing accomplished. Check out a full article on the topic here: https://www.teachingdigitalliteracy.com/2018/09/creating-family-media-plan.html

Here's a quick chart to help keep kids on track during the summer months and create a healthy routine yet still allow them to enjoy their extra screen time. 

This chart can easily be adjusted based on your child's age or developmental level. We typical do 'homeschool' time right after breakfast which includes summer workbook and reading time while my boys are most focused, least tired and the least likely to push-back on doing the work. It's important to find your own grove with what works for your family. 

Happy Summer!

Decoding Teenage Texting/ Messaging

Ways to Open Communication with your kids

Questions to open communication about 

Technology with your kids

One of the most challenging things as a parent can be getting our kids to open up and talk to us. Here’s a quick list of open- ended questions to help open those lines of communication: 

1.  Which app or game is your favorite? 

2.  When was the last time you updated your privacy or security features? Why don’t   

      we take a look together and make sure your device is updated securely? 

3.  What do you like most about (insert their favorite app/ social platform or game i.e. 

      Snapchat, Fortnite, Instagram, etc.)? 

4.  What are the problems that come up over an argument over text, DM or email?

5.  What do you think are the short and long term consequences of posting a certain 

      photo or video? (Can insert sexy photo, party video or photo, offensive language, 

      inappropriate language, etc.)

• Can lead into short term it could affect school, a sports team, friendships, etc.
• Can lead into long term could affect college application, employment, reputation, etc. 

6.   How would you react if you saw someone being bullied online? Have you ever 

      been targeted or bullied online? What would you do if you were ever targeted       

      online and felt bullied?  

7.   Have you ever come across racist, sexist, or hate-based content while online? How 

      did it make you feel? What did you do in that situation? 

8.   Has anyone ever posted a photo/ video of you without your permission? How did 

       it make you feel? 

9.   Have you ever posted a photo/ video of someone without their permission?

10. Have you ever come across something online that made you feel uncomfortable? 

       What did you do? 

*These are a baseline of questions for an older child (think middle school and older) but they can be adjusted based on developmental level and age of the child. For younger children you can use simplified language such as ‘have you seen someone being mean online’ or ‘did something you saw online confuse you’.

The larger point here is to talk about these topics, and to revisit and talk often. We want our kids to feel as comfortable talking about cyberbullying as they are telling you what they did during recess that day. Make these conversations consistent and normalized.  

It’s can also be helpful to talk during those routine moments like the ride to school, bedtime, cooking, throwing the ball around or over a meal. Kids can be intimidated by eye contact so sitting next to them can also be helpful. Paying attention to the small details, summarizing the story and asking prompting or clarifying questions can help keep the conversation moving and get the real story out. 

These conversations need to start happening the moment your child picks up a device. Starting at age 2 or 3 when they first start trying to pick up your phone or are beginning exploration within early learning apps are the beginning moments to start these conversations. Obviously the conversation will be be very different with a toddler versus a teen. 

Young Children, Tweens and Digital Use

Tweens and Digital Media Use

 Let’s talk about tweens and digital media usage. I frequently get asked by parents of my Middle Schoolers for recommendations regarding their tweens and smartphones, social media, gaming, and various Apps. I think for most parents this is a hard topic to discuss, discipline, enforce and parent on. 

COPPA

Let’s start this discussion by addressing the Children’s Online Privacy Protection Act (COPPA). The goal of COPPA is to give parents the control in what information is being collected on children under the age of 13 online. This rule applies to websites and online services (including mobile apps) that are directed to children under the age of 13 that collect, use or disclose personal information to children and require parental consent as well as posting a clear and comprehensive online privacy policy. This rule defines personal information to include: name, home address, contact information, username, telephone number social security number, photography, video or audio file, persistent identifies, and geolocation information.

So your tween is begging for a smartphone

So with COPPA in mind most social media apps (since they collect certain information) like FaceBook, Instagram, Snapchat and YouTube require kids be 13 to sign up (again kids could easily lie and say they are 13 to create an account). Personally 13 is around the age most kids are expressing a desire to control more of their own social activities including joining a social network and pushing parents for a smartphone. Depending on the maturity of the kid, if your child is expressing an interest in social media, a discussion on why they are interested as well as the pros/cons is the first step you can take together. It’s important to discuss that social media doesn’t always reflect real life (many accounts post only the “happy, posed and perfect” images). Body image, gender stereotypes and risky behavior are some of the issues that can be found within social media as well. 

If you feel they are responsible and able to handle having their own social media presence, the next step is setting some ground rules and boundaries. These should include privacy settings (no location service, account private, etc.), knowing who they are following/ followers are (and allowing the parent to follow/friend), teaching about digital footprint (thinking through before they post, comment or message), digital citizenship (being respectful, no cyberbullying, etc.), and keeping private information private (don’t share address, school, or other sensitive info someone could use to find you in person).

Finally we need to address various situations that they could encounter online within these social media settings. Things such as what to do if they see or come across hate speech, cyberbullying, or sexually explicit/ pornographic images. These are uncomfortable conversations to have but our children need to know that they can come to use in they encounter something they find scary, frightening, uncomfortable or even curious about. We don’t want our children feeling like they need to hide or keep secret their online behavior. They may not even seek out these types of things but theres a good chance they will come across it at some point (even with parental controls on). Teaching them what to do in these situation and that they can come to you without judgement will help them explore their social media presence safely and confidently. 

To recap:

1. Talk about why they want a social media account. Discuss the pros/cons of digital media, digital footprint and online presence 
• Unrealistic body image
• Portrays risky behaviors as common and normal when thats not the case
• Harmful stereotypes (gender, racial, etc.) can still be found 
2. Set some ground rules
• No location services
• Keep account private 
• Know followers/ who following
• Impact of digital footprint 
• Keep private info private
3. Talk through potential scenarios they could encounter and how they would handle those situations 
• Hate Speech
• Cyberbullying
• Pornographic or sexual explicit images 
• Uncomfortable or odd messages from strangers

Ground Rules 

After setting some rules regarding keeping accounts privacy, it’s also a good idea to set some house ground rules. These can include no phones in bedrooms, no using 30 minutes before bedtime, no phones during mealtime/ family time and no social media use while doing homework. Once you introduce a phone to your tween/ teen I recommend updating your Family Media Use Plan to include the ground rules regarding cellphones so that the expectations of what is allowed/ not allowed is clear from the beginning. 

Another basic rule is that you should be able to follow your child’s accounts and if your child’s behavior changes (becomes moody, isolated, grades decline, etc.) then you may need to check the accounts (including personal DM’s, messages, etc.). This is not done out of mis-trust but out of concern and to create open communication. 

It also should be discussed that cell phones shouldn’t be used while driving a car or even walking. The National Safety Council estimated that cell phones are involved in 27% of crashes. Safe Kids Worldwide found that 40% of kids age 13-18 said they have been hit or nearly hit by a car, bike or motorcycle while walking. 

So how do you address a child under 13 who wants to join a social network? 

Frequently parents are looking for permission to feel better about kids younger than 13 joining social networks. The fact of the matter is that sites like Instagram and Snapchat have inappropriate images and language as well as mature content that is not meant for children. Social media apps can also be addicting, show advertisements and show unrealistic body images as well as ‘perfect and curated images’ that have been edited and photoshopped which portray an unrealistic reality. The best advice I can give for parents of children under 13 is to find like-minded parents in your children’s friends group and make a pact to ban social media until your children are 13. This will help create a environment where your child as well as their friends are in the same boat regarding social media accounts (and makes you less of a bad guy as the parent). Parenting is hard but we must make these difficult decisions to protect our children until they are developmentally able to handle a online presence. 

No matter when you feel your child is ready for a social media presence (heck I know that the parent knows their child best) these strategies will be useful in setting up the ground rules so that your child can have a tech-positive experience with social media. And the fact of the matter is some kids are still too immature at 13. This decision is a case by case, kid by kid decision that each parent needs to make when you feel your child is 100% able to handle the responsibility. Our kids already have a presence online (even if you’ve tried to limit it) with what parents, relatives, etc. have shared and when they become a certain age they are going to want to independently explore and create their own presence. The best thing we parents can do is check-in frequently (just like asking how their day at school was, we should be consistently asking how things are going online) and continue the hard conversations so that are children can grow to be independent, autonomous and happy. 

The following shares a sample social connections chart that outlines an approach to slowly building your child’s online social network. This starts with parents knowing all contacts/ friends/ followers.

SmartPhones, Sleep, and Healthy Habits

Tweens and Teens still need 8-10 hours of sleep a night (according to the AAP). A smart phone and devices can interrupt not only sleep but other healthy habits (such a exercise and homework time). I always recommend to parents that phones and devices should not be allowed in the bedroom. This helps with your child going to sleep when they go to bed at night. This also creates an open environment where communication can occur with your child about what they are doing on their phones/ devices since they’re not using it in a isolated space like the bedroom. 

Every child is different and the choice of when to give a smartphone and social media profile will vary based on the child and their development and maturity. As long as our kids use smartphones and devices, ongoing conversations will be necessary so that they can become competent digital users. As parents and educations we want our children to have the tools to navigate technology and become technological literate and good digital citizens. 

Please follow us @TeachingDigitalLiteracy on Instagram for weekly quotes, inspiration and helpful information about technology.

Apps for Preschoolers (2-5)

Finding Balance with Devices Visual Aid

Since I'm a visual person I regularly utilize visual aids when teaching. Here is the visual from an earlier blog post that provides tips for your kids to help find a balance with Technology so it doesn't interfere negatively into their routines and life. 

You can find the original blog post with more information here: https://www.teachingdigitalliteracy.com

How to End Guided Access on an iPhone?

So I recently was locked out of my own phone after giving it to my son to use at a restaurant during a late dinner. I enabled guide access (like I usual do anytime my child has my phone) but when I went back to check my phone I was locked out with my code not working. After scouring the Internet with my husbands phone and trying every tip I could find off of Mac forums I found a solution that finally worked. Since I am sure this will not be the last time I'm locked out of my phone I figured I should write a quick post and share the tips I found. 

To get out of Guided Access you need to: 

-Triple-click the side button to unlock with a PIN; or

-Double-click the side button to unlock with Face ID.

*Now if you forgot your PIN and need to force a restart:

Press and quickly release the Volume Up button. Press and quickly release the Volume Down button. Then, press and hold the Side button until you see the Apple logo.

On older models forcing a restart can be done by holding both side button and home button until the screen restarts.

In both scenarios once the phone restarts you'll be prompted to use your passcode and you'll have access again.

So friends I hope this helps if you've found yourself locked out of your iPhone. 


*Now for reference I have a iPhone 8 with the iOS 12 operating system.  

Creating a Positive Relationship with Technology:

As parents we need to set the standard regarding technology use. If we want our kids to develop a healthy online/offline balance, they need to see us as parents doing the same. 

How to create a positive relationship with Technology: 

• Sets boundaries regarding Technology use
• Set screen-time limits, downtime and screen-free times for yourself. This could include screen-free meals, screen-free zones in the house (like the bedroom or dinning room), and downtime (like before bed). I also like to include app limits (like on social media apps) so that I'm reminded when I've hit a certain time. Since I do need to use social media for blogging and growing my page by setting app limits I'm more purposeful when I am using the app and don't get sucked into the mindless searching or scrolling that sometimes occurs on these apps. This could also mean restricting device-use in bedrooms so that everyone can get a better nights sleep.
• Sets tech-positive environment 
• How do you look at technology? Is it a tool to make your life easier? Creating a tech-positive environment is about how you react and look at technology. If we can demonstrate that there our times for technology use and times (like family time or meal time) where we unplug we can help create a balance. Try not to judge what your child might be interested in. Certain apps, games and YouTube videos may seem odd to you but try and ask why your child is interested in them. Using curiosity instead of judgement will help foster a tech-positive environment and open communication. Creating a Family Media Plan and following it as a family will also help create a tech-positive environment. 
• Models acceptable and respectful online activities 
• When online we as parents should use positive language and show our kids positive social interactions. We can also demonstrate consent by asking our kids permission before posting images or videos of them. If we can model acceptable online behavior our kids will follow suit. 

Please follow us @TeachingDigitalLiteracy on Instagram for weekly quotes, inspiration and helpful information about technology. 

Setting Up Parental Controls in YouTube Kids

I have always had a love/hate relationship with YouTube and YouTube Kids. It offers a wealth of useful how-to videos and interesting clips but kids can easily fall down a rabbit hole of odd, weird and sometimes inappropriate videos. I have resisted setting up the YouTube Kids App on my 5 year olds iPad. With the onset of complaints from parents regarding inappropriate videos YouTube Kids has been updated with new parent safety controls that make me feel  more comfortable in letting my son use the app. 

How to Set up Parental Controls on YouTube Kids: 

Photo: YouTube Kids

1. Open Settings 
2. Select Child’s profile 
3. Go to “approved content only.” Add channels (like PBS Kids or Sesame Street) that you approve. *This turns off your kids ability to search for content and only will show them channels you approve. 

Some things to note about YouTube Kids’ New Features: 

• There is an older kids mode (geared towards age 8-12) which offers more content such as music and gaming videos. 
• You can add different children into the App so that each child has there own profile with safety setting and channels and search capabilities set to the specific child’s developmental ability. 
• Time Limits can also be set. 
• Block videos you don’t want your kids viewing 
• Check out what your kids are watching with ‘Watch History’

Photo: YouTube Kids

New Year ... Time to Reflect on Screentime and adjust your Family Media Plan

It's a New Year and that means you may have some new devices in the house. Now that the Holiday chaos has ended and we are resetting into 2019, it might be a good time to update those Family Media Plans or create one if you haven't already. Setting up parental controls and screen time rules and procedures and then be consistent with those rules. This will help your kid create a online/ offline balance. Cell Phones, tablets and gaming devices all have enormous power in connectivity and interaction and we want to makes sure our kids are developmentally able to handle the responsibility of the device they are using. We also want to be sure the devices aren't interfering in sleep, school-work and our kids emotional and social well-being. 

If you want to create a Family Media Plan, check out Creating a Family Media Plan Blog Post. 

If you want to learn more about Parental Controls, check out Utilizing iOS12 Parental Controls