Parenting in the Digital Age Infographic

Apps for Preschoolers (2-5)

Creating a Positive Relationship with Technology:

As parents we need to set the standard regarding technology use. If we want our kids to develop a healthy online/offline balance, they need to see us as parents doing the same. 

How to create a positive relationship with Technology: 

• Sets boundaries regarding Technology use
• Set screen-time limits, downtime and screen-free times for yourself. This could include screen-free meals, screen-free zones in the house (like the bedroom or dinning room), and downtime (like before bed). I also like to include app limits (like on social media apps) so that I'm reminded when I've hit a certain time. Since I do need to use social media for blogging and growing my page by setting app limits I'm more purposeful when I am using the app and don't get sucked into the mindless searching or scrolling that sometimes occurs on these apps. This could also mean restricting device-use in bedrooms so that everyone can get a better nights sleep.
• Sets tech-positive environment 
• How do you look at technology? Is it a tool to make your life easier? Creating a tech-positive environment is about how you react and look at technology. If we can demonstrate that there our times for technology use and times (like family time or meal time) where we unplug we can help create a balance. Try not to judge what your child might be interested in. Certain apps, games and YouTube videos may seem odd to you but try and ask why your child is interested in them. Using curiosity instead of judgement will help foster a tech-positive environment and open communication. Creating a Family Media Plan and following it as a family will also help create a tech-positive environment. 
• Models acceptable and respectful online activities 
• When online we as parents should use positive language and show our kids positive social interactions. We can also demonstrate consent by asking our kids permission before posting images or videos of them. If we can model acceptable online behavior our kids will follow suit. 

Please follow us @TeachingDigitalLiteracy on Instagram for weekly quotes, inspiration and helpful information about technology. 

Setting Up Parental Controls in YouTube Kids

I have always had a love/hate relationship with YouTube and YouTube Kids. It offers a wealth of useful how-to videos and interesting clips but kids can easily fall down a rabbit hole of odd, weird and sometimes inappropriate videos. I have resisted setting up the YouTube Kids App on my 5 year olds iPad. With the onset of complaints from parents regarding inappropriate videos YouTube Kids has been updated with new parent safety controls that make me feel  more comfortable in letting my son use the app. 

How to Set up Parental Controls on YouTube Kids: 

Photo: YouTube Kids

1. Open Settings 
2. Select Child’s profile 
3. Go to “approved content only.” Add channels (like PBS Kids or Sesame Street) that you approve. *This turns off your kids ability to search for content and only will show them channels you approve. 

Some things to note about YouTube Kids’ New Features: 

• There is an older kids mode (geared towards age 8-12) which offers more content such as music and gaming videos. 
• You can add different children into the App so that each child has there own profile with safety setting and channels and search capabilities set to the specific child’s developmental ability. 
• Time Limits can also be set. 
• Block videos you don’t want your kids viewing 
• Check out what your kids are watching with ‘Watch History’

Photo: YouTube Kids

8 Internet Safety Tips to Teach your Kids

8 Internet Safety Tips to Teach your Kids: 

1. Be mindful what you share 

• Does the website ask for specific information such as your name, school, etc. Don’t give away information that someone can trace back to your home/school/et and track your down. 

2. Turn off location services and set privacy settings 

• It’s important that our kids know to turn off location services and set privacy settings on social media platforms. 

3. Always log out of your accounts

• Get your kids in the habit of logging out when in school/library so the next user can’t access their information

4. Never share your passwords (and don’t use the same password for everything) 

5. Think about who you friend/ follow (and don’t feel like you need to reciprocate a friend/  
     follow)

• Encourage your kids to only follow people they personally know (and to not follow or friend someone just because so-and-so knows them). As a parent of a beginning social media user (Elementary age) you should know everyone in their contacts list and everyone they follow/ friend. 

6. Don’t fall for clickbait (articles that have crazy or interesting catch phrases to get you to 
    click on the link) 

7. Keep tabs on your digital footprint 

• Google yourself, think about what photos are posted of you, think about the comments you are leaving. All these marks create a “digital persona” of you online.

8. Don’t respond or click on mysterious messages

• Hackers and scammers are very creative and will try to get you to open and click on links that download virus’ to your device (or access data/ information). Be wary of any message from someone your don’t know. Grammar mistakes, odd wording and seems to good to be true messages should always raise a red flag. 

What is Cyberbullying?

What is Cyberbullying? 

Cyberbullying is a relentless and continuous harassment online via texts, social media, email, and other online communication. What makes cyberbullying different is that it does not consist of one post or comment but is an endless cycle of harassing online that is deliberate and ongoing. 

Cyberbullying occurs over various online forms that connect to the Internet from cell phones or tablets to gaming consoles. It frequently occurs on social media sites such as Twitter, Instagram, FaceBook, Tumblr and YouTube. What we also frequently see in cyberbullying  situations is that it isn’t usually just one student cyberbullying another but rather a group of students that join in and escalate the bullying online. 

What are some forms of Cyberbullying? 

• Posting mean comments online
• Creating fake accounts to post mean comments, troll and harass 
• Creating a fake account or website with the intention of trying to hurt someone 
• Posting a picture or video with the intention of being mean and embarrassing someone
• Spreading rumors via texts, email, messaging, social media
• Threatening or harassing someone online or through texts 
• Using online gaming to harass or threaten 

When to teach our children to seek help? 

-If they are threatened. 

-If they are scared. 

-If they are afraid to go to school, practice, or certain places.

-If their grades have decreased

-If they are affected in a negative way and are thinking about it all the time

-If they are depressed, anxious, or are suicidal (National Suicide Prevention Lifeline can be called anytime at 1-800-273-8255 or suicidepreventionlifeline.org)

How can we help our kids navigate their online world and deal with cyberbullying? 

It’s important that we start teaching our children when they are young (K-2) and not wait until they are teens and have already encountered cyberbullying. 

Common Sense (https://www.commonsense.org/education) says the best ways to help children in Kindergarten to second grade is by:

• “Limit online socializing. Because there is more risk for bullying on sites where kids can openly communicate, avoid open and free chat sites. Look for sites that offer prescripted or prescreened chat options, like Webkinz or Club Penguin.
• Explain the basics of good behavior online. Remind your kids that being mean, lying, or telling secrets hurts — both online and offline. And remember to praise your child when you see good behavior.
• Remind your kids not to share passwords with their friends. A common form of cyberbullying is when kids share passwords, log on to another child’s account, and pretend to be that person. Kids can protect themselves by learning that passwords are strictly private, and they should be shared only with their parents. Make sure they are also logged out of any shared devices.
• Make sure they talk to someone (even if it’s not you). A child should tell a parent, teacher, or trusted adult if he or she is being bullied online. Tell your child that this isn’t tattling, it’s standing up for him- or herself.
• Advise them on how to handle cyberbullying. Even though they might be tempted to, your child should never retaliate against a cyberbully. They can stop the cycle by not responding to the bully. Also remind them to save the evidence rather than delete it.
• Establish consequences for bullying behavior. If your child is mean to or humiliates another child, consider taking phone and computer privileges away and discuss what it means to be respectful to others. Better yet, ask them to write an apology letter.”

From there we as parents can build upon these lessons as our children get older. Recent information suggests that one of the most successful ways to combat cyberbullying is peers sticking up for peers. We want to teach our children what to do if they are being bullied but also teach them to stick up for other students and friends when they see they are being cyberbullied. When our children OBSERVE cyberbullying happening they can help support the target of cyberbullying by:

• Asking if they are alright
• Supporting them by leaving positive comments or tweeting them something nice
• Never forward or share embarrassing, cruel or inappropriate content 
• Talk to a trusted adult 
• Record it and report it (to a trusted adult or anonymously at school)   

*It’s also very important to remind our children to DE-ESCALATE the situation when possible. Sending threats or responding back with inappropriate or hateful language will only make the situation worse.

We, as parents can also share coping strategies to help our tween or teen deal with “digital drama” or Cyberbullying. The following are strategies that will help:

• Document the Cyberbullying 
• Save the texts/ emails, print out pages or Screenshot the website or social media post, download images or videos
• Keeping a journal of whats been happening can be helpful when being cyberbullied over a long period of time. Writing down what was said, when it was said (date/time/where occurred), and how it made you feel can help track the events and show the escalation and continuous nature of the bullying 
• Don’t Respond 
• As challenging as it is, it’s important to teach our children not to respond to the cyberbullying. If they respond the situation will likely look like a disagreement and it will be more difficult to prove that cyberbullying is occurring. 
• Talk to a trusted adult (parent, school counselor, coach or teacher) 
• Block the attacker on social media sites
• Report the comment, image, or user to the site administrator. Most sites like Instagram and Facebook have a feature to report inappropriate, threatening and malicious content and get the post removed (and if the user receives multiple reports their account could be banned temporarily or permanently.) 
• Contact your school and/or police. Even if the cyberbullying happens at home, your school probably has anti-bullying procedures in place (49 states excluding Montana have laws requiring schools to have anti-bullying policies). School officials work regularly with law enforcement to determine whether cyberbullying constitutes a crime. 

Is it Cyberbullying or “digital drama”?

Senario 1

Jane sees a picture posted on Instagram of her friends at a sleepover over the weekend. The friends have all commented on the photo and have said things like “best night ever” and “that movie was so funny” Jane feels left out and doesn’t understand why her friends wouldn’t invite her and then show off the images from that night. 

Verdict: Scenario 1 is one of the negative aspects of social media and the feeling of isolation it can create for our children (and ourselves). This is a typical “digital drama” situation that your child may experience at some point. It’s important to teach our children that many times when people are posting images or stories on social media they are happy and want to share what they are experiencing. These are often not malicious posts or intentionally trying to make someone else feel left out. 

Senario 2

Sara gets a text from a friend saying that they found a fake Facebook page on Sara and that it has embarrassing photos and information. Sara goes to the Facebook page and see’s someone created a fake account with her image and has posted content that is unflattering, untrue and defamatory to her character. 

Verdict: This is cyberbullying. Sara should document the page (take screenshots) and tell a trusted adult. 

Senario 3 

While playing the game Fortnite, Jordyn starts receiving messages from other players in his multiplayer game that “he sucks,” “go kill yourself” and other inappropriate and threatening messages. He has played the game many times before and this has never happened before. He feels uncomfortable by this onset of attacks from the other players. He decides to stop playing and logs out. 

Verdict: This is the beginning of cyberbullying and is the “digital drama” that occurs when in an open messaging forum. A few questions that should be asked are: (1) Who sent the message? Do you consider this person a friend?, (2) Has this ever happened before?, (3) How is it affecting you, emotionally and mentally?, and (4) Does it make you want to stay off Fortnite or delete your account?  The best thing as a parent we can do is to learn about the games our children want to play then set appropriate boundaries around them. Fortnite has 2 options for playing; an individual game and a multiplayer game that allows players to play with others. For young children the open ended ability to connect and talk with strangers could expose them to unsafe and inappropriate interactions. As the parent you can set boundaries when they are old enough for multiplayer features and if you still feel uncomfortable then you can play with your child so you can observe what they are encountering. Setting up a Family Media Plan can also help establish healthy behavior online and offline (check out ‘How to Set-Up a Family Media Plan’ Blog post for more information.)  

Many times I hear parents say to “suck it up” or “toughen up” when talking about Cyberbullying and then they go into a story about bullying that occurred when they were younger. It’s important to remember the problem with cyberbullying is that it is repeated and harmful and very isolating. One mean comment or a embarrassing photo on Instagram isn’t cyberbullying but an ongoing harassment over a period of time that frequently has a group of people joining in is cyberbullying. 

Many times cyberbullying is happening at home and continuing at school making it impossible for the child to find a safe space. This can lead to feelings of helplessness and larger issues of anxiety and depression. It’s important to talk to our children so that they don’t feel alone and isolated and create trust with our children so they come to us as parents in these situations (or go to another trusted adult, aunt, teacher, coach). 

It’s also important to remember if you are cyberbullied, you are not alone. Remind your kids this because the nature of cyberbullying is to make the target feel isolated and alone.  

“Being different is always gonna be a tough climb. But at the end of the day, if you give those bullies the power to affect you, you’re letting them win. And they don’t deserve that.” -Adam Lambert

What is Digital Citizenship?

With this week being Common Sense Media's Digital Citizenship Week (October 15th -19th) I thought it would be a good idea to touch on the subject. It's important to remember that just because our children our tech-savy and seem to pick up technology quickly, it doesn't mean they understand how to be a good digital citizen.

What is Digital Citizenship? 

Digital Citizenship is the skills and knowledge to navigate the online world safely, responsibly and competently. 

It’s how we behave, act, and think when online. 

Common Sense Education has a FREE Digital Citizenship Curriculum with 80 lessons with support materials for grades K-12 that align to the Common Core State Standards, the International Society for Technology in Education’s National Education Technology Standards (ISTE’s NET•S), and the American Association of School Librarians (AASL) Standards. These student- centered, media rich lesson address the various aspects of teaching digital competency. As a parent you can ask your school to see if they are teaching about Digital Citizenship. I know as a Technology teacher our 6-12 Technology department addresses these topics within our comprehensive curriculum. As an education utilizing these FREE resources will help empower our students to think critically, behave responsibly and safely, and navigate and evaluate what they see online. 

How to Utilize the new iOS 12 Parental Controls

Apple’s newest iOS 12 update is changing the way we use screen time in a positive way. These new features will provide you and your child with vital feedback about how much screen time you're actually using and makes it easy to set limits and privacy setting. Some of these features will be similar to family sharing (if you’ve set one up) but there are added features in this newest update that combine everything into one place under settings. Setting limits and content & privacy restrictions can be done in 2 different ways: set up family sharing and control the device remotely, or you can set limits directly on the kids device with a password- protected code in settings. 

How do you utilize the parental controls in Apple’s new iOS 12 update?

Step 1: Head to settings and scroll down to ScreenTime. 

Step 2: Set your Usage: This will show how much time was spent on the device and where and when (time of day) the device was being used. Most interestingly it shows information regarding your usage based on the categories (social networking, entertainment, etc.) and the specific app itself (Instagram, Fortnite, etc.). You can also see how many notifications the device received and where from.  

Step 3: App Limits: App limits can be set for specific apps or for an entire category of app (such as Entertainment or social networking). Limits can also be set for “All Apps & Categories” as well. Once a limit has been set the user will receive a notification 5 minutes before the limit expires. Once they hit the time restriction, they can request more time from you. If you set a time limit for yourself you can choose to ignore the limit for that day or set 15 more minutes.  

TIP: Limits can be set for an entire category such as social networking or can be set directly onto the specific app itself (such as for Instagram).

TIP: For older kids the goal should be for them to set their own limits. These new features allow you to start the conversation about how much time is being spent on their device and how that might be affecting the online/offline balance on their lives (i.e. the struggle to get their homework done). The Family Media Plan should also be looked at and revised if necessary with kids goals. If you allow kids to set their own goals they will have more ownership of them and less arguments about screen-limits. 

Step 4: Schedule Downtime: This feature allows you to set time away. You can specify which apps are allowed during this time (phone calls will still be available). This feature is ideal for helping to set a healthy bedtime routine. If your kid uses a sound machine app to help them fall asleep you can allow just that app to be accessed during downtime. 

TIP: Most likely if your kids are older and have their own phones you will need to have a discussion with them about why you need to set downtime and include that research suggests turning off devices one hour before bedtime to help the mind wind down. This opens up time before bed for reading. Downtime can also be scheduled at meal times or other times during the day you don't want the device being used.

Step 5: Content & Privacy Restrictions: This is similar to the previous restrictions settings. Here you can control and block inappropriate content, iTunes and App purchases can be limited. You can also set content restrictions or explicit music, podcasts & news, movies/TV Shows/ Books based on age (example you can set movies to G rated only). Websites can be limited to specific websites you set (for younger kids) or limit adult websites (for older children). Siri can have limits set for explicit language. And finally game center can have limits for adding friends, not allowing screen recordings and not allowing multiplayer games. Under privacy settings location services can be turned on as well for your child’s safety so you can see where they are. 

TIP: Younger users would benefit from limits that aren’t appropriate and they could stumble upon. With older kids the best method for dealing with privacy settings will be a continued conversation about why a limit needs to be set or a setting turned on like location services. Making in-app purchases and gaming with friends is something that older children can earn through responsible technology use. As long as the conversation regarding media use remains open and ongoing, limits can be adjusted to fit the needs of the family and of the child. There will be natural periods of heavier and lighter media use and as long as a balance is reached then it shouldn’t be a problem.  

NOTE: I’d like to leave a quick note that although these parental features are helpful and will hopefully create less tantrums when device time is over, it is still important to mentor and provide guidance to our kids. As long as your kids use devices, ongoing conversations between you and your child will be necessary so that they can become competent digital users. As parents and educations we want our children to have the tools to navigate technology and become technological literate and good digital citizens.