Ways to Open Communication with your kids

Questions to open communication about 

Technology with your kids

One of the most challenging things as a parent can be getting our kids to open up and talk to us. Here’s a quick list of open- ended questions to help open those lines of communication: 

1.  Which app or game is your favorite? 

2.  When was the last time you updated your privacy or security features? Why don’t   

      we take a look together and make sure your device is updated securely? 

3.  What do you like most about (insert their favorite app/ social platform or game i.e. 

      Snapchat, Fortnite, Instagram, etc.)? 

4.  What are the problems that come up over an argument over text, DM or email?

5.  What do you think are the short and long term consequences of posting a certain 

      photo or video? (Can insert sexy photo, party video or photo, offensive language, 

      inappropriate language, etc.)

• Can lead into short term it could affect school, a sports team, friendships, etc.
• Can lead into long term could affect college application, employment, reputation, etc. 

6.   How would you react if you saw someone being bullied online? Have you ever 

      been targeted or bullied online? What would you do if you were ever targeted       

      online and felt bullied?  

7.   Have you ever come across racist, sexist, or hate-based content while online? How 

      did it make you feel? What did you do in that situation? 

8.   Has anyone ever posted a photo/ video of you without your permission? How did 

       it make you feel? 

9.   Have you ever posted a photo/ video of someone without their permission?

10. Have you ever come across something online that made you feel uncomfortable? 

       What did you do? 

*These are a baseline of questions for an older child (think middle school and older) but they can be adjusted based on developmental level and age of the child. For younger children you can use simplified language such as ‘have you seen someone being mean online’ or ‘did something you saw online confuse you’.

The larger point here is to talk about these topics, and to revisit and talk often. We want our kids to feel as comfortable talking about cyberbullying as they are telling you what they did during recess that day. Make these conversations consistent and normalized.  

It’s can also be helpful to talk during those routine moments like the ride to school, bedtime, cooking, throwing the ball around or over a meal. Kids can be intimidated by eye contact so sitting next to them can also be helpful. Paying attention to the small details, summarizing the story and asking prompting or clarifying questions can help keep the conversation moving and get the real story out. 

These conversations need to start happening the moment your child picks up a device. Starting at age 2 or 3 when they first start trying to pick up your phone or are beginning exploration within early learning apps are the beginning moments to start these conversations. Obviously the conversation will be be very different with a toddler versus a teen.